Guest culture, business dinners and "ganbei!"

When locals invite you out, you are a guest, and guest culture is very important.

Your host will want there to be leftover food (i.e. they have provided more food than their guests could consume). This is at conflict with my understanding of being a good guest. So...there can be a misunderstanding of seeing the food left and thinking, "Oh crap, there's so much food, I'm being rude. I'll keep eating," and their thinking, "They're still eating, there won't be any left to show, I should order more food." Awkward.

Also, your host will want to at least get you tipsy. Here are some possible reasons I've learned as to the why:

1. Drinking ability is a pride for men, and when they drink a lot they feel that they have shown themselves a "strong" man. So, the frat-boy reasoning.
2. Like with food, being a good host means providing your guest with more alcohol than they could want. 
3. Getting drunk together is viewed as a bonding experience and the cementing of friendship, i.e. if you get drunk together, you are now friends.
4. A little dose of "mess with the foreigner," you round-eye. 

"Ganbei." Possibly your first night out in China, this will be said all night and it literally means "bottoms up" or to shoot your drink (and it's probably #3 & 4). And you'll probably drink Baijiu (like "buy joe"). Here I am innocently sitting with a bottle before my brother decides to initiate me on his own.

Baijiu is not your friend. It's like a grain alcohol that rapes your throat and some cartoon hillbilly would drink. But, inevitably you'll have to drink some, so either enjoy it, fake it or if you have the tolerance of an obese Irish man like me, just outdo your hosts.

So while were on the subject, here are some tips that I've learned for business dinners:
There are many seating rules (that I don't understand) that pertain to things like rank and age. Wait for someone of higher rank or older than you to tell you where to sit and if there is no one or no one does, it's OK to ask. When you want to toast, you don't clink glasses, but clink the bottom of your glass on the table then raise it to your companions. I've heard that it's getting better, but you may be expected to get hammered (#1-3). When the bill comes, it's perfectly alright to offer to pay and do the back-and-forth-get-the-bill dance, but if someone of more rank than you (or I think older) wants to cover the bill, you should let them win. 

Here's me out with the managers that my brother manages (I think that they call them small bosses) and his fiancé Se Ah. As a note, all food is family style.

Comments

[Debbie Moonshine Yoder]

Baijiu---really? have you ever entertained moonshine from the wonderful state of West by God Virginia. Have your hosts drink that and see which person is still standing or sitting at the end of the meal. Go USA!